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They seem to lose all respect for their husband and become so self-absorbed, but in an angry selfish manner, that they become virtually impossible to live with.

If you find yourself married to one of these, and I have several friends who are married to one of these types of women….

Then you have an uphill battle to get up every morning and work long hours to provide for your family only to come home to this nasty individual every single day.

Not sure why women turn into this particular type of person; but when they do it almost always turns into a divorce situation.

The solution : if you are a man and you are truly unhappy in your marriage but you are stuck and cannot easily file for divorce what options do you have?

If you just look at it at face value and realize you are truly stuck for the rest of your life… well, you have a pretty grim future facing you!

Getting a divorce is out of the question because you have kids or other financial obligations that make it almost impossible to move forward with.

You need to put things in proper perspective. You need to realize that your wife has power over you and that you need to somehow turn that around to where she has no emotional power over you.

There is no sex. There is no emotional intimacy. There is vaguely any type of friendship left over after years of being married.

What I want you to do after reading this short report is to put on your jacket, your shoes and put your wallet in your back pocket and head out to your local Starbucks.

When you get to the Starbucks sit down, drink your coffee, watch the people around you and enjoy this time by yourself.

What you will see at some point is a young couple who are attentive and affectionate to one another. It is here while you are drinking your coffee that you must make the decision to still care about your wife and be the best possible husband you can be.

But more important is that you commit to yourself to better take care of yourself and look out for your own interests and start living a life almost separate from your marital relationship.

You are going to start enjoying life and not include your wife in this new life you will be creating for yourself. In essence you are putting things into proper perspective….

She is a roommate who is unhappy and is making your life not very fulfilling; thus leaving you somewhat tired of being in a dead marriage.

You still are and always will be the best possible dad you can be for your kids. They become your number one priority.

Your number two priority is: you!! Not your marriage. Not your wife. Not what you hoped your marriage would be. You are now your new priority!

Your wife… well, she is just a roommate. Nothing more, nothing less. This is just something you have emotionally come to terms with and concluded for your own emotional well-being that she is no longer a priority in your life.

You have given up on her emotionally and are now pivoting in a new direction that will lead to a more fulfilling life that may not include her.

Since you have been in a marriage that is been unfulfilling, more than likely, you may have some self-esteem issues.

So the first thing you are going to want to do is to start getting your emotional bearings back on track. Here are three things you must do to get your feelings of self-worth and inner-confidence back to a level that makes you feel alive and whole again.

Most men who are in their late 30s and older and have been married for a while are truly physical wrecks.

Too much time watching the kids, working long hours and surfing the channels on the couch have led to a body that is less than fit.

The number one thing anyone can do to gain an incredible new found sense of confidence and self-esteem is to go about getting very very fit.

I have seen it over and over many times where men who seem lost and emotionally depressed discover fitness and almost overnight they become a new man with a new sense of purpose in life.

Now keep in mind I am not talking about being only so-so fit. I am talking about being extremely fit and putting in the effort to be extremely fit.

When you start going through the process of getting that fit, and you start to see the results of your efforts, you will see that your overall self-esteem greatly improves!!

This goes without saying that once you put your marriage in proper perspective and start living a life outside of your marriage your friends will start to become much more pronounced in your life.

The only difference between your wife and your friends is that when you did things with your wife they were much less enjoyable.

Either she complained or criticized the things you did together… which made them difficult instead of enjoyable. With your friends these social activities become enjoyable once again.

And once things start to become enjoyable again you start to feel good about yourself and feel good about the people you are around.

In essence you have removed the negative influence in your life and replaced it with those who truly want to spend time with you! And it is important to mention here that once you start living a life outside of your marriage the wife will start to notice.

She will start to complain that you are not around all that much anymore. She will start to give you attitude.

She will start to challenge you. My advice to you is… remember that you put her in proper perspective! Yes, she still is legally your wife; but, she is nothing more than just a roommate.

She is the mother of your children, but still just a roommate. They are now your number one priority.

Do all kinds of activities with them and enjoy their time with you. Invite your wife to join you if she can be pleasant and easy to be around. The next time you take your kids out to pizza and she complains about it… well, be pleasant, be respectful, listen to what she has to say… and then go have pizza with your kids!

If she were such a great spouse you would not be going through this whole process of having a life outside your marriage.

Enjoy your kids and spend your quality time with them letting them know that you love them very much. Do not communicate to them that you have designated your wife to roommate status, as that would only bring tension between you and your kids.

Just focus on their needs and wants as a good dad and you will be very happy you did as the years go by.

The more time you spend with your kids and a high quality parental relationship develops you could only feel good about yourself and feel great about the kids you are raising!!

Where once you would have you wife come with you to lunch now you either go by yourself or you invite a friend. One day you are walking down the street and you see a brand-new Italian restaurant and you want to try it out.

So for now on you go to restaurants by yourself. You scope out the types of food you want to eat that your wife refused and plan a night out by yourself and have a good time.

A friend of mine does just that. His wife had become such a problem for him that now he does everything by himself. Surprisingly he found that he like this much better!

He has discovered museums, restaurants, beaches and bookstores that his wife would never think of going with him to. So instead of thinking of having your wife go with you to go see a particular movie you just go by yourself or with your kids or with friends!

After a period of time you will discover that you less focus on the negatives about your wife and more focus on the positives of your new life outside of your marriage.

Your life quickly changes because now you actually have a life! A life without someone being negative and nasty to be around making you miserable.

You are working on your self-confidence by getting very fit and spending time with your friends and kids. The negative influence of your wife has become much less pronounced and you are actually starting to feel pretty damn good.

Here are three options that a married man can do that are much more prevalent than society realizes. Take a look around you and I willing to bet that at least one third of all married men wish they had never married the woman they are with.

If you are a married guy getting a girlfriend can be somewhat difficult. Most, if not all single women will stay away from any man who is married.

Other married women may be an option but most are very busy raising their families and working very busy careers.

The one way that I have heard of meeting a woman to date while still being married is through a website called AshleyMadison.

I have never used this and have not met anyone who has as well. But they advertise just about anywhere and everywhere where men find themselves on the Internet.

They promote dating for married people through the concept of having a marital affair. The other option is just to hang out with your friends and by doing this at some point you will interact with a woman who may be in the same situation you are.

A third option, which I do not recommend, is to post an ad on the singles dating sites such as Match. Here you would not disclose you are married and you date single women with the assumption that they never discover you are married.

While I find this somewhat deceitful I hear that a large number of men do this and are fairly successful with this approach.

That is… they are successful until the woman finds out they are married… and then goes and tells your wife! Instant divorce. This would be my favorite option as where I currently live there are a ton of Hostess bars, or what we call Korean bars….

Of course this cost money. Having said that, I know many many married men who have gone down this road and had side relationships with a Korean barmaid.

They claim the sex is incredible, the women are truly exotic and beautiful and they control the tone and tempo of these part-time relationships.

However, be very careful because sooner or later you will start to notice you will be used financially to the extreme!!

With the Korean bar you have ample opportunity to develop an emotional connection as you sit there buying this beautiful exotic Asian girl drinks.

Hopefully over time, using a period of several days or weeks a relationship starts to form and eventually you end up in bed with this woman.

With massage parlors you cut to the chase and have sex with a beautiful exotic Asian girl right out of the gate. Here in Honolulu there are a large number of massage parlors that are frequented by thousands of men each and every week.

Quite often more than sex occurs during your session with a lady as conversations ensue… and if you are a repeat customer relationships can somewhat develop.

And I know of another who makes it somewhat of an event for himself by treating himself to a very nice dinner at one of the better restaurants in town, flirting with the waitress and drinking a bottle of wine by himself….

He tells me that since his marriage has turned to crap this experience of treating himself once a month to a nice dinner and then getting laid has enabled him to stay in his marriage is still be a good husband.

So in a nutshell we have discussed ways for the unhappy husband who happens to be married to a less than desirable wife to have a life outside the marriage.

And the answer to that is to simply get very fit and get socially active around people who are positive influences on your life.

Pursue hobbies and activities either by yourself or with your friends. By not including your wife you will discover just how happy life can truly be.

Your friends will become your emotional support and your hobbies and interests will slowly replace the negative feelings for your wife that overwhelm you every day.

Mark was 31 when we met. I was just shy of my 26th birthday and six months out of a passionate month relationship.

My older sister started dating one of Mark's best mates, and we met at a party. I was attracted to his solidness, both in looks he was a beefy looking, tall, muscular man and personality.

He was the salt of the earth kind of guy. He loved his family, friends, craft beer, fishing and the Sydney Swans.

He was a master builder and had just gone out on his own. At that stage of my life, my biological urges were leading me to seek a good provider, a best friend, a close confidant and a long-term faithful lover.

As I was to find out Mark was all those things, apart from being a lover. Sex went from being constant to hard-to-come-by.

Image: iStock Source:Whimn. Check out the woman who got a job as a sex worker because it turned on her husband. Or, gasp at the awkward moment this couple were spotted having sex on the job.

It didn't start that way. When we first started dating, we went through the honeymoon phase, and we'd have sex most times that we'd share a bed.

Sex was satisfying. I'd orgasm about 80 per cent of the time. It wasn't one of those relationships where we'd be tearing each other clothes off, but I didn't mind.

I had come to accept that part of adult life was that passion wasn't as important, as connection and commitment. I had a dedicated partner who talked about our future together in front of my friends and family.

After about a year, sex started to tail off a bit after I moved into his apartment. Mark had a very physical job, and as he was always out of the house by 5.

My career in sales was also super busy. I first noticed something was up when I'd want to have sex on Sunday mornings, which had always been my favourite time for making love as you're both relaxed and there are no time constraints.

Mark would often want to be doing something else like a gym session, but I pushed it to the back of my mind as what he lacked in sexual passion, he'd made up for in flowers, picnics, and weekends away.

However, I was acutely aware that it was me that used to initiate sex more often than him. We'd been together for nearly two years when we got married.

After saying I do, sex became much more infrequent. I don't even mean intercourse, I mean, kissing, flirting, and touching. It would have been disloyal to divulge that Mark hardly ever wanted it.

It made me feel as there must have been something wrong with me, as then he was continually turning me down. It turned into a battle of wills, the more I pushed for it, the more he withheld.

He'd always come to bed later than me. I lost count of the times that I would lay there and silently cry. I would resort to bribing him.

I'd cook dinner and say I'd do the dishes if he'd have sex with me. It was pathetic as sometimes he used to take me up on it.

However, when it came to orgasming , he never came inside of me. I felt rejected, angry, and helpless. My self-esteem took an absolute battering.

I started to see myself very differently. I'd always been relatively okay with how I looked. I've never been stunning, but now I saw myself as somehow defective.

It became the most significant issue in our relationship, as I was ready for a family, even though our sex life was practically non-existent.

I'd try all different strategies to make him want me.

Whereas others just don't value sex that much, which is also okay. A lot of it is based on communication and a willingness to be open with your needs.

Varma suggests finding a time to speak when both partners are not feeling angry, tired, or stressed. Read: skip the late-night pillow talk. Sending texts that are playful, and flirtatious can help plant the seeds of seduction, she says.

You can also show your partner that you care by spending time with them, or doing things that might make their day easier.

There are plenty of reasons for not having sex, ranging from cultural to health-related, or simply personal preference.

According to Dr. Varma, the reality is that people sometimes have different narratives in their heads. If a partner is connecting these feelings to the act of physical sex, the abscence of it might greatly affect the relationship.

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Share this article on Share on Facebook. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Rachael Pace. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.

She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them.

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